Sandy's Corner: Fear & Choises

The ability to choose oneself seems to be one of the most important freedoms we can enjoy. In many religions, making a choice is a primary gift from God. Making a choice takes a lot of thinking and often it is required on the fly. Making a proper choice about any issue requires the ability to analyze possible consequences. If we make a decision without recognition of all possible outcomes the outcome may be devastating. The way we come to a decision is different for each one of us. Mental illness can play a major role in how we make choices. Understanding how you come to make choices will help you understand the ways to make changes within yourself making better choices in life. Don't give up on yourself if you have made bad choices in the past. Learn from all your mistakes and move on to another day. Mistakes are the only way we learn, making the right choice at the right time is not easy, and choosing in a split second can be crucial. you are never alone, there are always friends, loved ones, clergy, therapists, counselors, teachers, and so many others. One of the most important choices we can make is to ask others for help. Mankind is a pact animal and we rely on others to help make the tribe as a whole strong. We each have strengths and weaknesses so we must ask for help with those weaknesses we have to survive both mentally and physically. Try to be strong and unafraid to ask for help when needed. It is never a sign of weakness or failure to ask for help. I think it is a sign of strength and tenacity. Peace can be found when choosing to live life and love it with others by our side.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h-TIRIxhq6E

Sandy's Corner: A Mothers Love

We all have a mother, yet not everyone has a close, loving relationship with theirs. I lost my mother to cancer six years ago on Christmas day. I worked in a hospital for twenty-eight and a half years so knowing death is nothing new to me. I see death as just the cycle of life. Everything that lives, dies in its own time. We can not keep people alive for our sake, we have to keep moving forward or we too die. I see some people shut down after the death of their parent/s, while others seem to move on and live life to its fullest.

A mother's love is like no other. She will cry for her child who suffers and die for them if need be. A mother loves her child no matter what, but that is not to say they must tolerate that child's adult behavior. Mental illness can be the hardest of human disorders not only to manage but also to be a friend or relative of a person suffering from it. My mother suffered with one such child, me. I've suffered from Major Depressive Disorder, along with a few other diagnoses for most of my life. Mom suffered from depression as well so having a child with it did not go well. The long story I'll tell another time, what is important is that we made peace several years before her death. I am so thankful for the time and the effort on both our parts to mend broken hearts. I mourn my mom's death don't get me wrong. I don't go to a dark place that holds no answers nor does it change death. I miss her but my faith allows me the comfort of knowing she is with God now and I can still talk to her anytime I want. What a blessing that truly is. A mother's love goes on forever in our memories. As I grow older I understand what my mom must have gone through raising five children alone. The constant fear and anxiety she must have felt. Then to have a child with learning disabilities and mental illness must have been more than she could handle at times. Although it may not have seemed like love, she did the best she could with what she had. Now that statement is true for all of us. "We do the best we can so with the tools and knowledge we have at the time." author unknown. I understand so much about my mom and the way she behaved when I was a child that I am empathetic to all "moms". We are not given an instruction book that teaches us how to be parents and our schools lack good psycho, social education. So what do all parents do......the best they can with what they have at the time. For far too many it means they have children far too young to be having children and no real plan as to how to manage a house full of kids. Our society is falling apart for so many reasons but the main reason is the disintegration of the family unit. A mother's love can save us all from now to the end of time. A mother's love protects us, guides us, and shows us the way love is supposed to feel. When all this fails, so does the child. When a mother is gone from this earth her love should carry on in her children. You don't have to be an actual mother to love others the way Mary loved Jesus. We all have the duty to love and tolerate each other with a mother's love. When the time comes, and it will, you can carry on knowing the love your mother had for you is what will carry on to the next generation as it should. A mother's love is like no other, a blessing we all have and should all share.

Sandy's Corner: Living this Life.

Why is it that we take life for granted until we have a near-death experiance? Most of us go through life just trying to make it through another day. In the past, I had no idea what life was supposed to look like. Sixty-five years later I finally understand my purpose and lifes meaning. Some people, most peaople that is, are to filled with the fear of living their life that their potential and purpose are never met. Life is all about constant change, something far to scary for us to both accept. The change we must make is within ourselves not in our friends and loved ones. We have to do this for ourselves because no one else can do it for us. Friends, loved ones, therapist, doctors, or anyone else on earth can't make changes needed for you to have a healthy and happy life. You must do this for yourself.

What is it to truly live life? In a perfect world, having no daemons means no ugly, traumatic, or painful memories. Many strive to obtain the garden of Eadon here on earth—the makings of a Walt Disney movie. Not obtainable yet we should all strive for a better world and a better life for ourselves. To me, the first tool needed to bring about personal change is complete and total honesty with our thoughts, words, and actions. With that honesty comes acceptance of our responsibilities. You are responsible for your thoughts, behavior, and decision-making. It can be hard to fathom however, we have all power over our choices. Sometimes those choices may be awfully hard to make, yet nonetheless making any choices is up to us. In my opinion, this world is such a mess because it is far too easy to blame others for our pain. To make personal change we must be able to see and understand our negative thinking and behaviour. This takes honesty and humility. The next step on our road to living is to educate ourselves. We must understand our disorder/s and know why we have behaved the way we do and what it takes to make the change. I suggest you read everything you can about not only your disorder but the behavior that generally goes hand in hand with a disorder. If you get information from the internet, make sure the site is reputable and easy to read and comprehend. Your therapist, counselor, or doctor can help by suggesting books, articles, and videos to use. This site will also offer great sites to go to that can help you in this journey. I'd like to take a moment here and suggest a great place to get (good) used books. www.thriftbook.com is one great place to go if you can't get them from a library. www.amazon.com is a great place to get new books and audiobooks (a great deal). YouTube is a great site to watch videos on any kind of mental illness. I have a list of doctors and therapists that I like to use. They are clear and easily understood from beginners to professionals. TED Talks is another great site to watch lectures on mental illness and human behavior, and get inspiration.

Gathering coping skills is like gathering the right tools to do a job. The right tools will help you make change. Unfortunately, we have not been given the tools to control life and make change so you have to learn them and more importantly you have to practice using them. Life and the art of living is not an easy journey. It was not meant to be. Life is about breathing, eating, and staying healthy. Living is about internal growth, loving others, experiences, and becoming the best person you can be. Truly living this life takes courage, strength, and determination. Above all living requires hope, faith, and charity. Are you simply living or truly living the life you want to live?